ZenGuide

This time of year is usually wildly busy for many of us. We’re also focused on what’s coming up in the near future - Christmas, New Year, parties, family gatherings, buying presents…. Taking a moment to look back at this last year can help us appreciate all that this closing year has brought to our lives - and remind us, in the midst of this hectic time, what life is really about.

Many people around this time are working on their Christmas newsletter, summing up the year in pictures and words for their friends and family. The news is generally light and fun and even though there may be sad news of life transitions or passings for some, these round robins are usually of a nature that you feel comfortable sharing with acquaintances, colleagues and associates.

What about taking this opportunity to create a more personal, private review of the past year just for yourself? Jot down not just the holidays or family gatherings or career successes but also things that may not have “news” value to others but had meaning for you. Here are some questions to help you reflect:

• What - or who - moved you?

• What was thrilling? Not just obviously thrilling experiences like white water rafting, but what quieter moments were also thrilling?

• Who touched your life this year?

• How were you amazing this year?

• How was your partner/ spouse/ family amazing?

• What were you grateful for this year?

Let’s see what my brainstorm list looks like…

Spending time with my nephew as he grows up into an articulate, talented young man; eating our first home grown tomato of the year; connecting at a deep level with the inspiring and passionate souls on my professional coaching training course; seeing my partner build and grow her web design business from scratch; not hiding my tears when I am moved; finding a home for the stray kittens that had found refuge in our garden - and more ….

If you feel that you’d like to share any of the items in your list with me and the other ZenGuide readers, please do add a comment!

Next time: Making the most of New Years resolutions

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Photo: thanks to Manjith Mainickara from flickr.com (CCL)

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The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

This is the first of an occasional series to inspire you if you are thinking of starting up on your own, whether as self-employed or a freelancer, or as a solo professional running your own business. With the holiday season coming up and a new year soon to start, this post could help you develop a motivating vision for a new business that’s uniquely your own.

Sometimes, when people I’m chatting to at a party learn that I’m a business coach, a wistful look comes into their eyes and they say, “I’d really like to start my own business”. For some people, you know exactly what your business would be. For others, that vision is not so clear yet.

This blog post today is for you if you’re not clear yet about your business idea but you just know you want to be your own boss or you’re longing to bring into the world something that is uniquely your own.

The first step is to take away the pressure. For now, don’t worry about whether this business is going to pay the bills or be sensible or practical. There’ll be time enough to sort all that out. Our minds can be more creative and we can be more in touch with the vision that we would love to create for our lives when we are relaxed. So let’s just have some fun with your imagination for now.

Brainstorm what you love spending time doing, what excites you, what makes you laugh. What kind of people do you like to spend time with? Don’t think in terms of jobs or job titles - those are boxes and we want to be outside the box in a free open space. Don’t censor yourself. What activities give you a rush?

Now, which of the feelings, activities, concepts there leap out at you from that sheet? Circle a few of them - five or so, not more.

Next, holding those five or so elements in your mind, think about how they could become a vision for your business. Think in big concepts, a big vision, not job titles or industry segments.

So you might jot down something like this:

“The business I create will be fun, adventurous and will have something to do with the outdoors.”

Or

“The business I create will allow me to be creative with food and work from home.”

This vision is the starting point. You may find that you will tweak it from time to time as you continue on your journey towards becoming your own boss. For now, think of it as a guiding light, showing you the things that stir your passion and excitement, as you begin to explore the practical, real world opportunities that will eventually transform that vision into reality.

And I’ll be continuing on that journey with you through future blog posts on the different steps along the process of setting up your own business. You can subscribe for free to receive a weekly email notification of new blog posts or via a blog reader - or just check back from time to time (I usually update this blog on Wednesdays)

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Photo: thanks to Matthew Fang from flick.com (CCL)

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The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

In life and business, change is inevitable. How you respond to it is up to you. Does change unnerve or scare you? Or do you see it as an opportunity for new possibilities? In this current climate of uncertainty, developing flexibility and adaptability around change is a must.

Evolution of Language and Text

I visited the British Museum’s exhibition on Evolving English over the weekend. It tells the story of how the English language developed out of Old Norse and Frisian when the Vikings and Angles came over to these islands over a thousand years ago. In those days, the oral storytellers were the ones who passed on the history and legends of the tribes, conveying their stories from mouth to mouth. And written text was sparse, reserved for holy talismans and magic runes and carved or etched into stones or bones or gold.

But after a time technology evolved and parchment, pen and ink came to Britain and the greatest English heroic poem was written down. The only surviving manuscript of Beowulf was on display at the exhibition. It brought tingles to my spine to see the fire damaged paper, in the handwriting of an unknown scribe from more than a thousand years ago, setting down a legend that was even more ancient.

Writing continued to evolve into the gorgeous illuminated manuscripts of the high medieval period.

And then Caxton came along with his printing press.

What was intriguing was to see a copy of Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales in beautiful handwritten Gothic script - and then later, a copy of it again in printed form, one of the first books published by Caxton.

There were many other treasures on display, including a note in the own hand of Henry V as well as Jane Austen’s original manuscripts. There’s also a section on digital media like Twitter and how that is changing our use of language. If you love books. language and history - and how that all relates to our lives today, this is the perfect exhibition to visit!

Adapting to Change
But the theme that emerged most strongly for me was the evolution of the technology of communication, and how the changes presented opportunities for some artisans and craftspeople while destroying the livelihoods of others:

• While early writing eventually brought an end to the role of the oral storyteller gathering his audience together in tribal feast halls, it opened up the whole industry of scribes. It’s fascinating to wonder: did the oral storytellers adapt and learn the new technology or did they fade away? Did they reinvent themselves as wandering minstrels and other performers?

• Those who took advantage of the new technology became this new profession of scribes. This skill and the ability to transmit complex information to many in an enduring format helped societies grow and businesses to develop. The technology reached its highest form as art and communication in the illuminated manuscripts that gave purpose, meaning and livelihood to thousands of monks.

• The printing press meant that information could reach even more people even faster. How did the scribes respond to this change? By trying to smash the presses or to become part of the new revolution? Were they able to speed up their manual writing skills and become secretaries and transcribers? Or did they become obsolete?

• A new profession of printers, publishers, edtiors and writers evolved out of the printing press. A new market of book readers emerged, requiring warehousing, distributors, booksellers and more. The great universities of the world grew out of small scholastic establishments and the whole world was transformed.

• What now for the publishing industry, academia, the way we communicate and even the fates of nations, with the rise of digital media - not just electronic books, but instant publishing tools like blogs, Twitter, and much in the news this week, wikis like Wikileaks? While publishing houses wring their hands over copyright issues and a declining book buying public, digital professions are emerging: search engine optimisation consultants, social media advisors, companies offering self-publishing packages to new authors, professional bloggers… and more.

You and Change

Whatever your business, career or industry, where are you and your business on the continuum of change? Are you fearful that changes in your sector or in technology or in your age-old market is going to make you obsolete? Would you rather not think about it? Do you take the approach that: things are fine now so I don’t need to worry about it?

Or are you on the look out to see how you can adapt what you are doing - the services you are offering, the skills you have - to take advantage of change? How can you add to your skills or services? Where can you diversify your market?

The thing to remember is: it’s not just the change you face today - but the change that is always with us, that you need to factor into your business or career strategy. So it’s not about treating change as if you’re taking a crash diet course - you know, those lose 20 lbs in 6 days courses (ie solve your change problems in a week and be done with it) - but rather to accept managing change as a regular habit.

• What are you doing as a regular habit to monitor change and evolution in your business, career or sector?
• What adaptations/ innovations you can bring in at each step along the way to address or even anticipate those changes?

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Photos:
Beowulf manuscript, thanks to Washington & Jefferson College
Change, thanks to AndYaDontStop from flickr.com (CCL)

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The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

I wonder if we all celebrate enough? Do we save joy just for those special occasions once a year - birthdays, New Year, Christmas? Or for the rare big event like the end of exams or closing a big deal or getting a new job?

Celebration - especially in the company of friends, colleagues and family - can give us joy, a sense of community and purpose: all strong foundations for a happy life.

For writers

As National Novel Writing Month (#NaNoWriMo) draws to a close, all you tenacious and brave writers who have been taking part in this writing marathon are in my mind. How will you mark the end of this epic month and what you have achieved during this time?

When 01 December dawns, look back at where you were on 01 November and see how far you have come. How many are the words you have written. How you juggled your time and commitments to keep this commitment with yourself and your creative process. What stories from the trenches of novel writing under pressure can you share with your friends and family - the great moments and the tough ones?

There may be a strict voice inside you who may not allow you to celebrate if you have not met the target you set yourself. I say: ignore that wet blanket voice! Wherever you have reached in your novel writing, that is the place that is right. If that highly critical saboteur voice won’t go away, rather than beat yourself up, jot down some thoughts about how you might have done things differently in order to have met your goal to the fullest. Then put them away as learning points for next time.

And go on and celebrate what you HAVE achieved!

In your business and career

Do you only ever celebrate at the annual Christmas party? Or when your company wins a big contract? Or when you get a pay rise or a new job?

What about marking the milestones along the way? What small successes can you think of that make you smile or feel up inside?

Why celebrate these small successes?

The positive glow from expressing and sharing the joy of even a small achievement can stimulate positive energy for the next actions along the journey to the one big success - and may even make that journey easier, swifter and more energizing.

The milestone celebrations don’t need to be big, expensive or flashy - a shared box of chocolates, some doughnuts, a glass of wine at the end of the week: something that brings your team together in recognition of work well done, and continuing to be well done.

In your life

Do you raise a glass every evening to the good moments of the day you’ve just had? Even in the lousiest day, there is something to be grateful for! It’s a small way to end the day with a smile, no matter how small, rather than a darkness in your heart.

What else could you celebrate along the way? Brainstorm a list with your family and friends - and in a way, the sillier and quirkier the better! The list itself can bring you some fun and laughter as you tap into your creativity.

Share the ways you celebrate

I’d love to hear about the ways you celebrate - the big stuff for the significant occasions and also the little stuff along the way. Please add a comment and let me know!

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Photo: thanks to bfick from flickr.com (CCL)

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The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

I was having dinner with some friends the other evening and one of them was thinking about changing jobs. He had been in his current role for close on 12 years at the same company and felt that it was time for a change. Round the table, we all had different work profiles - a self-employed consultant, a full time employee at senior level, a freelance webdesigner and me (working part time in the City and also a self-employed coach and consultant) - so we had a range of perspectives on what looking for a new job means. Our conversation got me thinking.

What do we look for in a new job?

There are the usual “external” things: salary level, location, big corporate or smaller firm, medical insurance, pension scheme, how much responsibility, who’s your boss, who are you boss to, challenging/ interesting work. We all have a mental checklist of these items and know that we want ideally and which ones we could compromise on.

But how often do we think big when it comes to changing jobs? What about taking advantage of this moment of transition to take stock of where we are in our lives and where we’d really love to be? To refresh our thinking and reconnect with our creative, passionate selves?

I’m talking about asking ourselves different questions when it comes to a possible new job. As well as wondering, “Do the benefits include a company car?”, ask yourself, “How would this new role give my life meaning and purpose?”. Or “How does the company culture fit with my values?”. Or “How can I use my creativity in this new career?”

What’s the point of asking these big questions?

Because someone whose life has meaning and purpose and who can fully honour their values in everything they do, will be more naturally motivated in their work and happier and more fulfilled in their lives. Yes, the “external” package is important. I’m not suggesting you ignore them. What I hope to inspire is an additional perspective on how you can design your future. Our lives are more than our jobs - but we spend much of our lives at our jobs. So asking the big questions can help you approach your new job in a way that opens up opportunities for happiness and satisfaction beyond the “external” checklist.

What do YOU look for in a new job? What will you not compromise on? What’s not so important for you? Please add a comment and share your experiences.

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Related info:

What is Coaching?
Career Development

Photo: thanks to AlicePopkorn from flickr.com (CCL)

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The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

The woman in this video rescued a lion and nursed it back to health. The lion is now in an animal sanctuary and she came to visit him. See what happens:

You can read more on the story on the news channel site Local6.

It prompted me to think about the impact that we each can make - on others and on situations we come across - as we travel through life. Do our actions leave behind devotion or anger?

Think of a person or situation in your life and how you are interacting with them. If they were a lion like this one, would they rush to embrace and kiss you in years to come or would they run away, at best - or at worst, eat you? How might you change how you are with them so that hugs are more likely than becoming dinner?

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Related info:

What is Coaching?

(Thanks to David Grey for first sharing this video on Facebook)

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

Following on from my post on creating a productivity space for yourself if you work from home , all the best laid plans to create a clutter free, “single focus” space for you and your project might be set awry by the people around you. This is relevant whether you are a solo professional or self-employed business person or writer. Your family, your significant other, your flat mates and friends - you may love them dearly and they you but sometimes, they can inadvertently throw a spanner in the works and distract you away from the work you need to do.

Your kids might burst in to the room where you are working in the middle of a game they are playing or asking for your help or attention. Your partner may be wanting you to help with the dishes or complaining that they never see you these days. Your flat mates might be noisy in the next room. Your friends keep calling you up and texting and getting annoyed that you seem to be ignoring them.

And all you want to do is have some peace and quiet just for a few hours to get on with your project!

It’s easy and tempting to snap or shout at the people in your life for not understanding what you’re trying to achieve. Or, if you’re not the arguing kind, you may find it easier to give in and focus on everyone else’s needs and then find yourself drained and fed up that you don’t have the energy or time left to work on your project (I use this term “project” to refer to your business-related work or your novel or other project that is important to you). The people you care about are important to you and there’s no question about that. The problem comes when they consistently, over a long period of time become more important than you - that is when you might start to feel negative feelings rising up about them and about your life.

So what can you do to create time and space for your project while at the same time continuing to relate with the people around you in a loving and caring way?

Here are some ideas**:

Often, the most likely reason for their apparent thoughtlessness is, well, just that. They never thought to give you the space and time for your project because, probably, they didn’t truly know how important it is to you. And that may be because you may not have communicated it to them in a way that they were able to take in and acknowledge. If you’re the snappy kind, all they would have seen is your snappiness. If you’re the helping others first kind, they would have just seen your love for them. So maybe it’s time to try a different approach.

The thing is: you don’t have to find the solution yourself. Taking a step back from any negative feelings, reflect on what you love about each of the people around you. With this perspective firmly in your heart and mind, consider: how can you enlist each one of these people around you to come up with a way together so that you can work on your project and also continue in your good relationships with them?

* How can you share with them how important your project is to you? How can you share with them your passion for it and how much it means to you to have the time to work on it?
* What spacial boundaries can you agree with them eg where in the house you need space and quiet for your project?
* What time boundaries can you work out with them eg how long do you need when you sit down at your project and how often?
* How can they help you create time and space for your project eg can someone help with the laundry?
* What could you do for them in return - either for their help or to help them with a project that is important to them?
* What do they need from you going forward?

I like to think that most people would love to be boost to someone they love and if you gave them the opportunity to be your champion, they would take it on with pleasure.

Some final thoughts. When you have come to an agreement going forward with each person, honour your side of the commitment. It may take them awhile to adapt as they’ll probably have had less time to think about all this than you have so allow them some slack and if you need to renew this arrangement, do so from the perspective of respect and love.

What has worked for you in the kinds of situations with your friends and family I’ve mentioned here? Please do share your tips and suggestions as each situation is different and we all have our different styles of dealing with this sort of issue.

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Related info:

What is Coaching?
Life Coaching

Photo: thanks to Chapendra on flickr.com (CCL)

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(**NB. Each person and his/ her situation is different and the ideas here may not be suitable for everyone. They are general ideas to prompt reflection and discussion only.)

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

Do you find yourself easily distracted?

I’ve been tweeting tips for writers this week in the run up to National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) to support them in my role as a virtual coach. It struck me that many tips that are useful for writers could also be useful for self-employed business people or solo professionals, especially if you work from home. Take for example, finding a creative and productive space to write - a number of my solo professional clients don’t have a home office and find themselves working at the dining table or in an improvised space somewhere at home. They face the same issues as writers: being distracted or imposed upon by others or just not being able to concentrate and get on with what they need to do.

Boost your productivity

So, what can you do - as a writer and/ or professional working from home - to boost your productivity and creativity when you sit down to get on with that novel/ piece of work?

I’ll share some ideas** below - and I’d also love to hear from you if you have any tips to share. For simplicity’s sake, I’ll use the term “project” to refer to your novel (writers) and to your business related work (other professionals).

* If you have a desk and computer that you normally work at eg for household admin, for gaming, for fun or other activity and you plan to use that for your project as and when the need arises: clear the desk surface of everything that has nothing to do with your project. Start afresh with no distractions even before you sit down to work on your project.

* If you work at the dining table or some other area at home, do the same - clear the immediate area of everything that is going to be a distraction or that makes you think of anything else other than your project.

* Now, place some items on your cleared desk or dining table that may inspire you around your project eg flowers, tools related to your business, inspiring photos. These can keep you focused and surrounded in a special “project space”. Only bring them out to decorate this space when you are in project-mode and put them away when you are done. This way, these items can create a special productivity space for you whenever you are working on your project.

* Close down all other applications in your computer apart from the project related folders. In particular, log out of Skype, Facebook, Twitter and anything else that can pop up and distract you!

* Switch off your mobile phone and landline. This is not as drastic as it sounds. Most calls are not urgent and so long as you have a client friendly outgoing voicemail message and you also call your clients back promptly, this should not cause a problem. In any event, if you were in a meeting you similarly would not be able to take calls so if it helps, view this productivity time as time when you are having a meeting with yourself and your project.

* Before you sit down to work on your project, focus for a moment on who you are (a writer, a complementary therapist, a web designer) and what your long term business/ career means to you (to be published, to have a thriving practice, to create great websites for high value clients). Then reflect on what part this next little while working on your project is going to contribute to that bigger vision.

* And go for it!

Share your productivity tips

If you have some other habits that help - or hinder - your focus when you are trying to work on your novel or your business, I hope you’ll share them with me as well.

Next week: Other People - Productivity Drain or Boost?

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Related info:

Stop Procrastinating and Write that Novel
What is Coaching?

Photo: thanks to Pulpolux from flickr.com (CCL)

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(**NB. Each person and his/ her situation is different and the ideas here may not be suitable for everyone. They are general ideas to prompt reflection and discussion only.)

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

nnwm

If you’re going to take part in NaNoWriMo this year, I am going to be your virtual coach via this blog and Twitter. Read on…

The Challenge

Whenever you face a big or important project - whether it’s starting your own business, improving your career or changing something in your life for the better - it can feel at times daunting, scarily difficult and risky. What if the venture fails? What if you put in all that effort only to be disappointed? What if it all goes horribly wrong? Those anxieties and worries dog anyone who has ever tried anything worthwhile. The difference between those who see it through to the end goal and those who give up - or even fail to get started - is that those who make it to the end manage to overcome their “saboteur”, that highly critical, pessimistic and cynical voice inside their heads.

The Pay-Off

And you’ll find that most of those people who have made a go of starting a business, getting a better job or changing their live will say that yes, the journey was tough and challenging and scary but that it was worth it. Anything that is worth doing is going to be a challenge - and that’s why it’s worth doing.

Writing

So it is with writing a novel. The same anxieties are there. The same critical internal voice. And as fiction writers tend to be more sensitive and internally focused anyway by the nature of their passion for writing, they are probably even more highly attuned to these factors! But then, there will also be a sense of achievement and sense of value for having the courage and persistence to do something hard, whatever the outcome.

National Novel Writing Month

National Novel Writing Month (aka NaNoWriMo) takes place every year in November and has become an international movement to get people writing that novel they’ve always wanted to. Its website explains that:

“NaNoWriMo is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing. Participants begin writing November 1. The goal is to write a 175-page (50,000-word) novel by midnight, November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm and perseverance over painstaking craft, NaNoWriMo is a novel-writing program for everyone who has thought fleetingly about writing a novel but has been scared away by the time and effort involved.

Because of the limited writing window, the ONLY thing that matters in NaNoWriMo is output. It’s all about quantity, not quality. The kamikaze approach forces you to lower your expectations, take risks, and write on the fly.”

That’s definitely one way to shut that internal saboteur up!

If you’re thinking about taking part in this marathon for writers, add a comment below and let me know. I would love to support you along your journey!

Your Writing Coach

I won’t be taking part in NaNoWriMo but I am keen to support all the writers who are going to be taking part. (I’ve already published two novels and I’ve had my share of blood, sweat and tears on that front - so no NaNoWriMo for me this year! I know how hard it can be sitting there all alone in front of that blank screen/ sheet of paper. I know what it’s like to struggle with the saboteur. But I also know that feeling of amazing emotion when I got to the end of my first novel and tapped out “The End”. I know what it was like to hold that bulky manuscript in my hands, read it through and know that I had done it. And the wonder and astonishment of seeing my book for the first time in the bookshops!)

If you’re going to take part in NaNoWriMo this year, I am going to be your virtual coach via this blog and Twitter. I’ll champion and support you with motivational tips and practical ideas for making the most of this terrific opportunity to write that novel you’ve always said you would. Follow my daily tweets on Twitter (@zenguide) for powerful questions and thought-provoking suggestions that may help keep you “in the zone”. Check back here on the ZenGuide blog to read longer, more reflective pieces like this one, which I hope may deepen your experience around taking on this challenge and seeing it through to the end.

And here’s your first powerful question: Who do you need to be to keep writing for the whole of November - and, if you’re serious about becoming a writer, beyond the end of NaNoWriMo?

My Twitter feed: www.twitter.com/zenguide

Also, check out the Twitter hashtag #nanowrimo for others who are tweeting about this writing marathon.

Related information:

Photo: thanks to JohnONolan from flickr.com (CCL)
The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

nnwm

Being originally from Malaysia, I was chuffed to see a recent survey that shows Malaysians have the most friends online on social networking sites - with an average of 233 friends. I’m not surprised as most of us Malaysians are friendly, affable and make connections very easily. If you’ve ever known a Malaysian, whether abroad or in their home country, you’ll find that we’re usually welcoming and pleased to get to know you - and if you’re a visitor to Malaysia, we’re always ready to show you around and in particular, to take you out to eat!

Malaysians are also pretty good and helping you out with recommendations and referrals. If you need a new mobile phone, one of us is bound to know someone who can give you a great deal on the latest models. If you’re about to visit a place where we know someone, we’ll offer to put you in touch with our friend. If you need a travel agent, we’ve got our go-to guy or gal that we’d be happy to share with you. And if we meet you at a party and we have a good time together, we’ll be asking you to be our friend on Facebook before the evening is over.

Reading the news reports about this finding, I was reminded of two things. First was a party of an English friend of mine where I met and got on with one of her flat mates. I suggested to the flat mate that we keep in touch and meet up for coffee as we both had a common interest in books and writing. When our host learnt of this, she confronted me a few weeks later and told me how she didn’t like me poaching her friends and seeing them behind her back. I was quite stunned as I hadn’t meant to offend or upset my host friend. I explained that if the reverse had happened, I would have been delighted that she had made a new friend at my party. We were able to smooth things over, fortunately, and we are all three of us friends still.

It’s not that this example of my proprietorial English friend reflects on all English people’s attitudes to their friends in general (in the same way that not all Malaysians are friendly nor are the friendly ones friendly all the time). It’s just that my host friend had a different value around friendship compared to my value for the people around me. For her, she values close, intimate, private circles of relationships and she was prepared to take issue with anyone who seemed to disrespect that, whereas I also value wider networks and opportunities to help people around me widen their circles of friendship.

The second thought that came to mind was about how having lots of friends can bring you luck. Psychologist Richard Wiseman writes in his book The Luck Factor, that lucky people who are “lucky” in life, love, work and just about anything else actually make their own luck. Luck doesn’t just happen. One of the factors that help lucky people be lucky is a wide network of friends, acquaintances, colleagues, associates and, well, people they know. So the person who knows 100 people is ten times more likely to know someone who can help them out in a crisis, whether it’s dog sitting while they are on holiday or finding a new job, than the person who only knows 10 people.

Applying this principle, I can trace back many of my “lucky” breaks to people I’ve known - eg friends who first encouraged / inspired me to follow an interest, acquaintances who put me in touch with someone because they thought we’d get on, associates who invited me to join new activities or gave me new opportunities. I’m sure you can think of lucky breaks in your own life that have come because of people in your life who have helped you out in one way or another.

I enjoy getting to know all kinds of different people because they make life interesting. Often, making a positive human connection, whether deep and meaningful or just enjoyable at a brief superficial level, makes me feel good about life and myself. It’s not about appearing to make friends with people just in order to get something out of them - that’s using people and it’s icky. I value mutual, genuine friendliness and if good fortune or luck comes out of it: great! - and if not: luck not ever being the priority anyway, I just enjoy having great friends. I guess you don’t have to be Malaysian to appreciate the joy of that!

Which style of friendship do you practice - a close, intimate one like my host friend or a more diffuse Malaysian-style one? How have your friends helped you be “lucky”? And how have you helped them make their “luck”?

And here’s something for you to think about. What one thing can you do this week to help someone be more “lucky” and widen their circle of friends?

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ZenGuide is evolving - I now offer business and career development coaching, of which social media consulting forms a small part.

More information:

Business Development
What is Coaching?

Photo: thanks to adrian_lms on flickr.com (CCL)

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here