Archive for the 'Life Stories' Category

As a coach, part of my role sometimes is to work with my clients as they move through the fear and anxiety that may be holding them back in achieving a big dream they have for their lives or business. So I feel it’s important for me to walk the talk – and to make sure I keep doing scary things that may be holding me back from achieving what I want for my life.

So I’ve signed up to tell a true story live in front of a paying audience – without notes! – at the Canal Cafe Theatre in NW London, curated by Spark London. And just to make it even more scary, I’ve chosen to tell a very personal story.

As writer, I feel very comfortable and cosy telling stories on the page and reading them out at author events. I have the stamina and quiet disposition for that – and have three full length books to show for it. Not only that, my stories on the page have so far been fiction or business related – so nothing too personal to expose of myself! I’ve given talks with Powerpoint on business related topics – overcoming my fear of public speaking a few years ago. But this – telling a personal story in 7 minutes that is entertaining or moving or that can somehow hold an audience, and without the crutch of written text… this feels like skydiving without a parachute!

For some people, storytelling in public like this is nothing to be scared of. For them, it’s fun and they want to share an interesting story from their lives. They seem to be able to do it with ease.

Perhaps it’s because in my mind, I’m putting my professional reputation at stake. Can I be as good at telling stories live and in public as I can be when telling them on paper in private at home? Will my story be able to hold the audience – or will they shift in their seats and be bored? And because it’s a personal and true story from my life, if they don’t like the story does that mean that they don’t like me?

So why do it?

I used to be very shy and lacking in confidence. I had a stammer and felt that I had to make myself likeable by fitting in with everyone around me. I used to feel I had to be someone I was not. Over the years, I’ve managed to become more confident step by step and to live my life more fully as I want to live it. If I were able to do this, to engage an audience with my personal story fluently without notes, I would be taking one more step in fully inhabiting the life I choose for myself.

Appropriately, the theme for the story-telling night is Back from the Brink!

For more info:

Spark Stories - 2nd April 2012 at 7:30pm

" People pushed to the very edge of their limits have two choices: to give up and fall in, or to fight against the odds and claw their way back. It is rarely the easy option to come back from the brink, but that’s what makes stories from the edge so satisfying to listen to."

Theme: Back from the brink

Venue: Canal Cafe Theatre, Little Venice, London, W2 6ND, UK - Website - map

Box office: 020 7289 6054 or Book online

~~~

Photo: thanks to PFX Photo from flickr.com (CCL)

~~~

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

I stand before you. But you don’t know me.

How can you ever know me?

I am not my facts - not my vitalstatics, my demographic, my gender, my marital status, my date of birth, my race, my country of origin.

I am my stories.

My stories tell you about what I love, what bores me, what thrills me, who matters to me, whether I live in hope or fear. My stories offer you a glimpse into my soul.

And as I share my stories with you, they tell me who I am. My stories are my mirror. If I listen very closely, I can see my naked self.

I gaze in the mirror and I know.

My stories assure me, like Kilroy, that I was here.

~~~

This story first appeared on Cowbird

~~~

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

Coming out. That is a rite of passage for many gay people.

Coming out means to come out of the closet where you have hidden your true self. Where you have hidden your love. Your passion. Your desire for life.

We all have a closet in our hearts, whether we are gay or straight.

To come out as gay is the ultimate declaration of a person’s authentic self, often hard won through a internal journey that takes integrity and courage.

But coming out is more than about being gay or straight - it is about revealing your naked self as a full human being, capable of love, pain, creativity, laughter, sadness and joy.

Everyone, whether gay or straight, longs in their heart of hearts to come out as their full authentic selves.

Stepping into that full power can feel like stepping off a cliff.

It takes our breath away and for a moment, we feel everything we know fall away beneath our feet.

We are falling.

And then we fly.

~~~

This story first appeared on Cowbird

~~~

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

I’m staring at the blank page of the Word document on my laptop. I’m about to start work on my new book.

There’s something terrifying and exhilirating about that blinking cursor, waiting expectantly for me to begin. It feels like a heartbeat, counting out my life. All those moments slipping away as I hover on the brink of the future.

And then I let the words appear, flowing from my fingertips. Words that grope towards the ideas in my head. Tap tap tap. Backspace. Select and Delete. They are my friends. Tap tap tap again. Backspace. Select and Delete.

Slowly, my thoughts coalesce into coherence on the page.

My heart skips with joy. Look at me, I’m writing!

And the version of life that has been living in my mind pours into the laptop, emerges there in a new form. From invisible electrical impulses in my brain transformed through my fingers into pixels and digital data, my thoughts now live beyond my reach, reflections in the mirror of the computer screen.

I’m working on my new book and I feel alive again.

~~~

This story first appeared on Cowbird

~~~

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

Now that the evenings are lighter, I’ve been spending more time in the garden - which has been sadly neglected over the winter. There’s a lot to do - cutting away the dead twigs and leaves, mowing the lawn, pruning shrubs to encourage new growth, cleaning the mossy patio… the list goes on! But I’m enjoying the lovely spring sunshine and fresh air. I’m also looking forward to getting everything back in order after the wet, grey winter. And I’m being rewarded by spring flowers popping up and the sign of new green shoots appearing!

It got me thinking about how caring for the garden can be great metaphor for how we can take care of our lives.

• What can you prune away in your life to make room for new opportunities? Perhaps old, unhelpful habits can be chopped so that new, energizing ways of doing things can start to emerge.

• Where can you tidy up and sweep away winter leaves? What about sorting out that client database you’ve been meaning to tackle? Or sorting out your receipts and expenses, ready for your tax return?

• How can you enjoy the process of “gardening” your life or business (ie living your life or tending to your business)? It may be hard work and you may be made tired by it but what is around you that you can draw energy from? Perhaps it’s a moment of enjoying a laugh with your colleagues. Or appreciating the funny dimple in your son’s cheek. Or a good meal out with friends.

• Where are there bright blossoms you can enjoy? Take the time to appreciate what you have in your life or business right now - think of three things that are great for you right now and fully take them in, enjoy them with all of your focus, drink a toast to them with your friends and family tonight.

I also like to think that one of the by-products of working in my garden is that I will get catch some sun as well as building up some muscles (pruning is great for the arms) and toning my abs (weeding does wonders for that six pack) so not only will my garden look fit and healthy but so will I! So - enough with sitting at the computer, I’m off to “Get Physical….!”

~~~

Photo: thanks to angela7dreams from flickr.com (CCL)

~~~

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

So, it’s now March. How many of your New Year’s resolutions are you still keeping? For many people, each new year starts with a raft of good intentions - but often, by the time we are a few months into the year, the momentum is lost and we have given up on all those promises to ourselves.

Part of this failure in momentum can often be because our heart was never in it in the first place. Think back to your resolutions. Did your thinking sound something like this? “I ought to lose weight. I should go for more runs. I should go on a diet. OK, so let’s write these down in a list.

1. Lose weight.
2. Run
3. Diet.

There, done.”

It looks like a list of chores, doesn’t it? Chores are never very inspiring - because they are things you ought to do or should do. Where’s the excitement in that?

If you’d like to review your resolutions and really go for them, I’d like to suggest that you re-frame them into something that’s really going to get you thrilled and energized whenever you think about them. Oh, and also: KISS them - that is, apply the Keep It Simple, Stupid principle.

As I touched on in last week’s post, I distilled my New Year’s resolutions into a theme: Nurture and Nourishment . It’s easy to remember (so meets KISS) and there’s a nice ring to it. And it conjures images for me of abundance, healthy food, supportive friends, laughter, great art and literature, a fit and healthy mind and body. It feels inspiring, fun and exciting. At the same time, I don’t have to refer to list of action points. All I have to do, at any moment, whatever I’m doing, thinking or saying, is to ask myself: “Is this nurturing or nourishing? (to me, to others, to whatever is around me)”

So with the “lose weight” example above, if that is one of your resolutions, how could we reframe it into an inspiring and positive theme? It might be “Healthy and fit” or “Active and full of energy”. Focus on the delightful outcome that you would like to achieve, rather than the mechanical steps to get you there. Those steps will come naturally - have trust in that - as you fill your mind and heart and life with a theme that thrills you and wake each day, live each moment inhabiting that theme.

What is your theme for this year?

~~~

Photo: thanks to life is good (pete) on flickr.com (CCL)

~~~

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

I’ve spent much of 2011 so far offline - not blogging or podcasting, not tweeting, not Facebooking. To many who know me, this has come as a big surprise - I’m a social media fan, after all, and I’ve written a book on social media, no less! So, no, it’s not because I’ve suddenly had a change of heart about the benefits, advantages and joys of blogging. It’s part of reshaping how I want my life to flow this year.

All these online activities are about creating content, communicating, putting myself, my thoughts and ideas out there. I’ve been doing it every day or every other day for several years now and it’s about giving, sharing, connecting - an outflow of creativity and energy. Reviewing 2010 during the Xmas period and looking ahead to what I wanted in my life for this year and I realised that I needed an inflow of energy. Two words came into my meditations and they have now became my theme for 2011: Nurture and Nourishment.

They are just the right words for my coaching practice as I take on the role of nurturing and nourishing my clients. It feels like a privilege to be given this role by them as we work together towards the fulfillment that they want to bring into their lives and businesses.

Equally, they are important words for me to inhabit in my own life - as a coach here at ZenGuide, in my management role in the City and in my personal life. So I make a habit of asking myself often this year: what is nurturing and nourishing me? Or, how is this nurturing and nourishing me? Because, without nurture nourishment myself, how can I presume to nurture and nourish others?

Going offline for a few months has been part of this nourishment plan. I’ve also trimmed some of my obligations and commitments and prioritised how I spend my time. All this has given me the space - in both time and energy - to replenish my creativity, to stare into space, to redevelop my deep thinking, to enjoy time away from the computer - spending time outdoors, running, in my garden, with friends and family - and to enjoy being digitally silent while absorbing others’ creative content in the form of books, films, theatre, real life conversations. Books I’ve read and shows I’ve seen have prompted me to look at this world and my ordinary surroundings in a new way. Running has got me fitter again and reminded me how much I love that pain and exhiliration of pushing myself physically. Spending time with good friends, making new friends and hanging out with the people I love makes me feel connected and fulfilled. I’ll be sharing some of these moments and insights with you in upcoming blog posts.

So going forward, I’ll be blogging again but you may not find me so often on Twitter or Facebook. I hope that my posts will bring some of the fruits of this year of nurture and nourishment to share with you.

I hope that you’ll also share your Zen moments with me. What nurtures or nourishes you? Do leave a comment - I love learning from other people’s experience!

~~~

Photo: thanks to pbev on flickr.com (CCL)

~~~

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

This time of year is usually wildly busy for many of us. We’re also focused on what’s coming up in the near future - Christmas, New Year, parties, family gatherings, buying presents…. Taking a moment to look back at this last year can help us appreciate all that this closing year has brought to our lives - and remind us, in the midst of this hectic time, what life is really about.

Many people around this time are working on their Christmas newsletter, summing up the year in pictures and words for their friends and family. The news is generally light and fun and even though there may be sad news of life transitions or passings for some, these round robins are usually of a nature that you feel comfortable sharing with acquaintances, colleagues and associates.

What about taking this opportunity to create a more personal, private review of the past year just for yourself? Jot down not just the holidays or family gatherings or career successes but also things that may not have “news” value to others but had meaning for you. Here are some questions to help you reflect:

• What - or who - moved you?

• What was thrilling? Not just obviously thrilling experiences like white water rafting, but what quieter moments were also thrilling?

• Who touched your life this year?

• How were you amazing this year?

• How was your partner/ spouse/ family amazing?

• What were you grateful for this year?

Let’s see what my brainstorm list looks like…

Spending time with my nephew as he grows up into an articulate, talented young man; eating our first home grown tomato of the year; connecting at a deep level with the inspiring and passionate souls on my professional coaching training course; seeing my partner build and grow her web design business from scratch; not hiding my tears when I am moved; finding a home for the stray kittens that had found refuge in our garden - and more ….

If you feel that you’d like to share any of the items in your list with me and the other ZenGuide readers, please do add a comment!

Next time: Making the most of New Years resolutions

~~~

Photo: thanks to Manjith Mainickara from flickr.com (CCL)

~~~

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

I wonder if we all celebrate enough? Do we save joy just for those special occasions once a year - birthdays, New Year, Christmas? Or for the rare big event like the end of exams or closing a big deal or getting a new job?

Celebration - especially in the company of friends, colleagues and family - can give us joy, a sense of community and purpose: all strong foundations for a happy life.

For writers

As National Novel Writing Month (#NaNoWriMo) draws to a close, all you tenacious and brave writers who have been taking part in this writing marathon are in my mind. How will you mark the end of this epic month and what you have achieved during this time?

When 01 December dawns, look back at where you were on 01 November and see how far you have come. How many are the words you have written. How you juggled your time and commitments to keep this commitment with yourself and your creative process. What stories from the trenches of novel writing under pressure can you share with your friends and family - the great moments and the tough ones?

There may be a strict voice inside you who may not allow you to celebrate if you have not met the target you set yourself. I say: ignore that wet blanket voice! Wherever you have reached in your novel writing, that is the place that is right. If that highly critical saboteur voice won’t go away, rather than beat yourself up, jot down some thoughts about how you might have done things differently in order to have met your goal to the fullest. Then put them away as learning points for next time.

And go on and celebrate what you HAVE achieved!

In your business and career

Do you only ever celebrate at the annual Christmas party? Or when your company wins a big contract? Or when you get a pay rise or a new job?

What about marking the milestones along the way? What small successes can you think of that make you smile or feel up inside?

Why celebrate these small successes?

The positive glow from expressing and sharing the joy of even a small achievement can stimulate positive energy for the next actions along the journey to the one big success - and may even make that journey easier, swifter and more energizing.

The milestone celebrations don’t need to be big, expensive or flashy - a shared box of chocolates, some doughnuts, a glass of wine at the end of the week: something that brings your team together in recognition of work well done, and continuing to be well done.

In your life

Do you raise a glass every evening to the good moments of the day you’ve just had? Even in the lousiest day, there is something to be grateful for! It’s a small way to end the day with a smile, no matter how small, rather than a darkness in your heart.

What else could you celebrate along the way? Brainstorm a list with your family and friends - and in a way, the sillier and quirkier the better! The list itself can bring you some fun and laughter as you tap into your creativity.

Share the ways you celebrate

I’d love to hear about the ways you celebrate - the big stuff for the significant occasions and also the little stuff along the way. Please add a comment and let me know!

~~~

Photo: thanks to bfick from flickr.com (CCL)

~~~

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here

The woman in this video rescued a lion and nursed it back to health. The lion is now in an animal sanctuary and she came to visit him. See what happens:

You can read more on the story on the news channel site Local6.

It prompted me to think about the impact that we each can make - on others and on situations we come across - as we travel through life. Do our actions leave behind devotion or anger?

Think of a person or situation in your life and how you are interacting with them. If they were a lion like this one, would they rush to embrace and kiss you in years to come or would they run away, at best - or at worst, eat you? How might you change how you are with them so that hugs are more likely than becoming dinner?

~~~

Related info:

What is Coaching?

(Thanks to David Grey for first sharing this video on Facebook)

The contents of this blog, including this post, comments and links, are subject to this Disclaimer - please read it by clicking here