Archive for the 'Inspiration Stories' Category

I was telling someone about my self-challenge to tell a true story live and without notes in order to overcome another barrier that I feel is holding me back and they pointed me to Susan Cain’s “Year of Speaking Dangerously”. Susan Cain is an out and proud introvert who ironically found herself having to do a lot of public speaking around her book: “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking”.

I thought I was alone! What a relief and joy to see that there are so many others of us quiet people out there. I’m definitely signing up to her Quiet Revolution.

Many people who meet me would not know that I’m an introvert. Ever since my childhood, I’ve been working my extrovert muscle – learning to make eye contact when I speak, smiling and nodding when I listen, making the effort to network and be perky. It took a lot of effort and determination on my part when I first started and it’s a lot easier now. I enjoy being with people now and love getting to know new and interesting folk. So all that extrovert muscle building has paid of! I’ve learnt to be a “pretend extrovert” to use Susan Cain’s phrase. But nonetheless, often after events where I interact with a lot of people, I need to have a big chunk of quiet time for myself to recover. I love to retreat for a quiet period of reading or writing to replenish myself.

Reflecting on the clients who come to me for coaching, it occurred to me that they are mainly introverts – creative types who work best alone and who are at their most powerful inside their heads. My work with them is to help them bridge that interface with the world – for example, to birth their book from inside their heads onto the page or to “screw their courage to the sticking point” and get their work, and themselves, out there to their audience. The key, I have found, is helping them focus on their larger purpose for wanting to do the thing that they are finding so tough to do - that takes us introverts out of our heads into action so we can make our vision reality - and then building in quiet celebration of their achievement afterwards.

To all my clients, introvert or extrovert, here is Susan Cain’s TED talk which is a must-view – inspiring for those of us who are introverts, and if you are an extrovert, this will help you understand what’s going on with the introverts in your home or work life!

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.. is some pink leotards!

Happy Holiday Season to you and yours!

You can find out more about these two fabulous dancers via their live video web chat with fans on The Washington Post site, when their video went viral:

We watched Woody Allen’s “Play it Again, Sam” the other evening – one of my favourite films for its witty take on the power of films to inspire us to be the best of who we are.

In the movie, Allen plays, erm, Alan, a klutzy, neurotic, overly vocalising film critic whose hero is Humphrey Bogart – specifically, Bogey as Rick in “Casablanca”, the strong hero with few words who loves deeply but is prepared to sacrifice his personal happiness for the sake of the greater good. We follow Alan as he tries to date different women without much success – he is a bundle of nerves and too conscious of his personal failings, putting on a persona that he thinks is smooth and cool but ends up being ridiculous and embarrassing. Through it all, Bogey appears to him in his imagination, giving him advice and listening to his anxious, neurotic, worries. In the end Alan learns that it is only by being his authentic self that he can get the girl and that, without having to be Bogey, he has it in his own heart to make a big sacrifice for the sake of the woman he loves.

This was the film that first introduced me to Woody Allen. I was in my early teens, at that moment of transition when we all begin to transform into the adults we are to become. I’ve watched almost all of his films since then. His social anxiety and self doubt spoke to me – and still do! – as well as evident love of the world of the city: specifically New York but also other major cultural cities like San Francisco, London, Paris and Barcelona.

Alan in “Play it Again, Sam” holds in his imagination his hero, Bogey and looks to him as a mentor. His life begins to take the shape of the movie “Casablanca”, especially the wonderful dynamic of the scene at the very end where “the problems of three little people don’t amount to a hill of beans” and he finally gets to be the hero he has always longed to be.

Watching Woody Allen again, it struck me that as Alan in the movie was inspired by Bogey, I’ve been inspired by Woody Allen and the world of his films. His vision of life has shaped mine. As a teenager, I wanted to grow up to be a New York Woody Allen type intellectual! Why? Because:

His films have been love letters to cities of culture, arts, film, and books. In his cities, you can meet quirky, interesting, intelligent and brilliant people. You can be all those things yourself! I’ve lived my life in London inspired by that theme.

His message to me was also that you can be anxious, nervous, socially awkward and still be smart, funny and have a bunch of interesting and supportive friends. You can be kind of funny looking and not very tall and still be a hero. It gave me hope as an awkward, anxious and bespectacled teenager.

Which film heroes (and I include both male and female heroes in this word) have inspired you? Who is the hero who mentors you inside your imagination?

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Pixar is the production company behind some of the greatest computer animation films - Toy Story, Finding Nemo and Wall-E. In the last two decade, they seem to go from success to success, as one of the dominant players in the genre. But did you know that they started off as a computer hardware company? And almost disappeared into oblivion several times before they ever made a feature film?

I’ve been reading The Pixar Touch: The Making of a Company (Vintage). It takes us back to the 1970s when computers were the size of rooms and used primarily by the military. Some computer geeks started working on animation using the clunky undeveloped tools of the time and in the process created and evolved the software that eventually made the genre accessible to the world. They were joined by a Disney artist whose knack was to make inanimate objects come alive as if with a personality of their own.

What is fascinating about the Pixar Story is that in different forms, the core team of geeks and artists worked for George Lucas, the creator of the Star Wars series, and Steve Jobs, the man who is synonymous with Apple, both visionaries in their own fields, but who were unable to see the meteoric potential in animated films. Lucas saw the team as useful for some special effects but not as film creators in their own right. Jobs bought Pixar because he was interested in the hardware and software for creating images and initially, had little interest in the animation side.

To me, looking at this story as a life coach, there are a number of inspiring themes:

# The Pixar guys had a vision to make animated movies with computer graphics back in the 70s, when the technology was at its infancy. They worked and worked at developing the hardware and software, finding funding by any means possible and perfecting their art for over 20 years before they were finally able to produce their first feature film, Toy Story.

# Their investors and patrons such as Lucas and Jobs gave up on them several times but they just kept going at what they loved, even if it meant pretending to be a computer company while they worked away quietly on their animation.

# They didn’t do it for the money - they had a passion and a vision. These are the only motivators that can keep you focused on a seemingly impossible goal for more than 20 years, especially while others around you think you are deluded. The key artist of the Pixar band of brothers, John Lassiter, was invited to become a director at Disney but he turned them down. He turned down Disney! He could be a director at Disney, he said, but he would rather stay where he was at Pixar (at that time with nothing but a few short films of under 5 minutes to their name) and “make history”.

And make history they did.

Their films and also their technological developments have changed not just the genre of animated films but also how films are made. Computer generated graphics are in most films and even TV shows now. The wonder of computer graphics is how it can take us into impossible spaces and amazing worlds and even make the world on screen seem animated with a reality that is more real and alive than our ordinary world. It has changed they way we tell and take in visual stories - and in so doing, it is changing the way we look at the world around us.

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Here is one of their first short films, Luxo Jr, that was inspired by a lamp on John Lassiter’s desk:

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Recently, I blogged about how working in the garden can be an inspiration to do some “gardening” in your life and business to help them grow and flourish. As the spring sun has got brighter and the air warmer, I’ve been allowing myself a break from the hard work of gardening in order to enjoy the glorious weather and colourful flowers. There is definitely something to be said for being lazy.

I’ve been sitting in my garden this morning, just doing nothing. I came out here with my coffee after breakfast and sat down on the bench at the far back, away from the house. I’m shaded by a eucaplytus tree and in front of me, the Mexican honey bush is just bursting into white, scented flowering. The birds are tweeting their hearts out all around me.

There’s a part of me that looks at the weeds and flowers sprouting through the cracks in the paved area where I’m sitting and thinks: I need to get round to pulling them out and making this area look a bit tidier. This part of me also sees that the lawn is due for its next haircut. And it sees the bindweed creeping round the base of a shrub nearby. The dead twigs cluttering an area of the flower bed that need to be cleared away.

But my heart sees the cycle of nature. How amazing it is that plants can find a way to grow through hard paving! How life jostles and pulls itself out of the earth to reach for the sun. And how, when the energy is spent, it falls again to the ground, to become nourishment for the new. I am sitting very still and the birds have forgotten I am here so they fly close by, pause on a branch, a worm in their beaks, hop on the earth and pick up a twig. Their song seems to trill louder from all sides. I could get up and start work on the gardening - but, neaaah, it’s much more pleasurable just to sit here doing nothing. Being lazy.

Gardening, like life, is a process. There will always be things to do. Nothing will ever be perfect - or if you do manage to achieve perfection, it will only be for a moment in the whole scheme of things. And while we all know what perfection is meant to look like - manicured lawns, perfect edging, immaculate paving… - there is also perfection in things as they are right now. This perfect moment of just being in nature, being lazy, being myself. Just being.

Just being refreshes our souls. Clears our heads. Enlivens our hearts.

More so than the perfect perfection that we think our lives should look like.

When was the last time you found a moment to just Be? If you haven’t managed it for awhile, start as soon as you can - right now, even! And if you have managed it recently - do it again!

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Photo: thanks to Living in Monrovia on Flickr.com (CCL)

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When we see performers on stage, especially dancers, we see only the beauty and brilliance of what they can do. The very best dancers make everything look so easy. We are taken in by their performance and the seeming glamour of it - how wonderful to be able to glide through the air with such grace, look so gorgeous in such tight tights or so beautiful in those tutus!

But behind any success is hard work, focus and dedication. And for those at the world-class level, pushing through the pain and exhaustion and doing things again and again until you get it right.

The BBC’s 3 part series following the English National Ballet over the course of a year was an amazing study of what it takes to put on world class ballets - aptly titled The Agony and The Ecstacy. Here is a slice of the show. The dancers are rehearsing the balcony scene dance in Romeo & Juliet, which goes on for a mere 6 minutes, but is a marathon in ballet terms because it is so demanding. Seeing the two principals wilt as the dance progresses - and even grinding to an exhausted halt at one point - and hearing their panting really pushes home the gruelling practice and fierce determination it takes to get to the top of the ballet game.

This clip does not show the resulting performance on opening night when the two dancers perform the piece with seemingly effortless athleticism and grace. It is a huge success, especially for the male lead, who is dancing this headlining role for the first time, having been plucked from the corps de ballet.

I’m no prima ballerina but I found this series of programmes fascinating for the clear evidence it shows of what lies behind any success - whether that is success in performance, the arts, business or anything we try our hand at.

We may not all be ballet dancers in a first rate ballet company dancing to Rudolph Nureyev’s choreography but whatever endeavour we are dealing with in our lives takes a level of hard work and dedication to do well. Sometimes the going can get tough and we are tempted to give it all up. Those who achieve success keep on working at it, correcting each mis-step in order to improve. They work together as a team, encourage each other, dig down for more energy, more stamina than they thought they had. And they focus on what they want their results to bring them - recognition, applause, the beauty of the dance…

If you find that things are tough for you right now, think of these dancers pushing through, going on dancing especially when they are at the point of collapse - all in order to create a seemless and amazing ballet for their audience. How can you translate that image to your own endeavour? What is the glittering prize/ opening night at the pinnacle of all that you are working towards - can that hold your focus and help you push through? How can you embody the spirit of a world class ballet dancer to get through this tough moment?

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Like many round the world, I’ve been watching the unfolding disaster in Japan with horror and pity. It is impossible to imagine what it must be like to lose everything so suddenly, even as we see the devastation in the news. My heart goes out to the people and communities affected by the tsunami and subsequent disaster.

It is incredibly impressive to see the resilience and courage of individuals and whole communities, trying the best to live through each day with such dignity.

If you are moved to do something to help, Play for Japan is an online portal working with the Japan Society Tohoku Earthquake Relief Fund to bring together events raising funds for the Japan disaster. You can see a list of fundraising events that are already scheduled on their Events page - there are concerts, gigs, rugby tournaments and even reflexology. If you have an event to raise funds to help the Japan disaster relief efforts, contact Play for Japan to tell them about it. And, of course, keep checking the site for events that you could go to and donate your funds.

The site was set up by a friend of mine, Michael Spencer of Sound Strategies, a musician involved in bringing music and the arts to business. He has close links with Japan and is a prime mover behing the annual Spitalfields Japan Festival.

You can also see who else is raising funds for Japan at the Play for Japan Youtube channel. Here is one of their videos, featuring violinist Taro Hakase:

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This time of year is usually wildly busy for many of us. We’re also focused on what’s coming up in the near future - Christmas, New Year, parties, family gatherings, buying presents…. Taking a moment to look back at this last year can help us appreciate all that this closing year has brought to our lives - and remind us, in the midst of this hectic time, what life is really about.

Many people around this time are working on their Christmas newsletter, summing up the year in pictures and words for their friends and family. The news is generally light and fun and even though there may be sad news of life transitions or passings for some, these round robins are usually of a nature that you feel comfortable sharing with acquaintances, colleagues and associates.

What about taking this opportunity to create a more personal, private review of the past year just for yourself? Jot down not just the holidays or family gatherings or career successes but also things that may not have “news” value to others but had meaning for you. Here are some questions to help you reflect:

• What - or who - moved you?

• What was thrilling? Not just obviously thrilling experiences like white water rafting, but what quieter moments were also thrilling?

• Who touched your life this year?

• How were you amazing this year?

• How was your partner/ spouse/ family amazing?

• What were you grateful for this year?

Let’s see what my brainstorm list looks like…

Spending time with my nephew as he grows up into an articulate, talented young man; eating our first home grown tomato of the year; connecting at a deep level with the inspiring and passionate souls on my professional coaching training course; seeing my partner build and grow her web design business from scratch; not hiding my tears when I am moved; finding a home for the stray kittens that had found refuge in our garden - and more ….

If you feel that you’d like to share any of the items in your list with me and the other ZenGuide readers, please do add a comment!

Next time: Making the most of New Years resolutions

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Photo: thanks to Manjith Mainickara from flickr.com (CCL)

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This is the first of an occasional series to inspire you if you are thinking of starting up on your own, whether as self-employed or a freelancer, or as a solo professional running your own business. With the holiday season coming up and a new year soon to start, this post could help you develop a motivating vision for a new business that’s uniquely your own.

Sometimes, when people I’m chatting to at a party learn that I’m a business coach, a wistful look comes into their eyes and they say, “I’d really like to start my own business”. For some people, you know exactly what your business would be. For others, that vision is not so clear yet.

This blog post today is for you if you’re not clear yet about your business idea but you just know you want to be your own boss or you’re longing to bring into the world something that is uniquely your own.

The first step is to take away the pressure. For now, don’t worry about whether this business is going to pay the bills or be sensible or practical. There’ll be time enough to sort all that out. Our minds can be more creative and we can be more in touch with the vision that we would love to create for our lives when we are relaxed. So let’s just have some fun with your imagination for now.

Brainstorm what you love spending time doing, what excites you, what makes you laugh. What kind of people do you like to spend time with? Don’t think in terms of jobs or job titles - those are boxes and we want to be outside the box in a free open space. Don’t censor yourself. What activities give you a rush?

Now, which of the feelings, activities, concepts there leap out at you from that sheet? Circle a few of them - five or so, not more.

Next, holding those five or so elements in your mind, think about how they could become a vision for your business. Think in big concepts, a big vision, not job titles or industry segments.

So you might jot down something like this:

“The business I create will be fun, adventurous and will have something to do with the outdoors.”

Or

“The business I create will allow me to be creative with food and work from home.”

This vision is the starting point. You may find that you will tweak it from time to time as you continue on your journey towards becoming your own boss. For now, think of it as a guiding light, showing you the things that stir your passion and excitement, as you begin to explore the practical, real world opportunities that will eventually transform that vision into reality.

And I’ll be continuing on that journey with you through future blog posts on the different steps along the process of setting up your own business. You can subscribe for free to receive a weekly email notification of new blog posts or via a blog reader - or just check back from time to time (I usually update this blog on Wednesdays)

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Photo: thanks to Matthew Fang from flick.com (CCL)

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I was having dinner with some friends the other evening and one of them was thinking about changing jobs. He had been in his current role for close on 12 years at the same company and felt that it was time for a change. Round the table, we all had different work profiles - a self-employed consultant, a full time employee at senior level, a freelance webdesigner and me (working part time in the City and also a self-employed coach and consultant) - so we had a range of perspectives on what looking for a new job means. Our conversation got me thinking.

What do we look for in a new job?

There are the usual “external” things: salary level, location, big corporate or smaller firm, medical insurance, pension scheme, how much responsibility, who’s your boss, who are you boss to, challenging/ interesting work. We all have a mental checklist of these items and know that we want ideally and which ones we could compromise on.

But how often do we think big when it comes to changing jobs? What about taking advantage of this moment of transition to take stock of where we are in our lives and where we’d really love to be? To refresh our thinking and reconnect with our creative, passionate selves?

I’m talking about asking ourselves different questions when it comes to a possible new job. As well as wondering, “Do the benefits include a company car?”, ask yourself, “How would this new role give my life meaning and purpose?”. Or “How does the company culture fit with my values?”. Or “How can I use my creativity in this new career?”

What’s the point of asking these big questions?

Because someone whose life has meaning and purpose and who can fully honour their values in everything they do, will be more naturally motivated in their work and happier and more fulfilled in their lives. Yes, the “external” package is important. I’m not suggesting you ignore them. What I hope to inspire is an additional perspective on how you can design your future. Our lives are more than our jobs - but we spend much of our lives at our jobs. So asking the big questions can help you approach your new job in a way that opens up opportunities for happiness and satisfaction beyond the “external” checklist.

What do YOU look for in a new job? What will you not compromise on? What’s not so important for you? Please add a comment and share your experiences.

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Related info:

What is Coaching?
Career Development

Photo: thanks to AlicePopkorn from flickr.com (CCL)

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