Did you really mean that?

by Angie Macdonald

My associate here at ZenGuide.co.uk who specialises in web writing and communication, Angie Macdonald, offers some tips on improving your written communications, especially when emailing and using other online spaces.

Angie writes:

Have you heard the one about the two psychoanalysts who bump into each other on the street. One says to the other, “Good morning. How are you?” And the other one thinks, “I wonder what he meant by that?”

We’ve all had that experience. We read an email from someone and it makes us sit back because this person seems rude, abrupt, aggressive, sarcastic or brusque. You read a phrase or a sentence and you think, “I wonder what they meant by that?” because you feel that they are getting it at you or making a dig at you. Your perception of this person changes and you may start to dislike them.

When it comes to writing business emails, it’s worth taking your time if you don’t want to have that effect on your recipient.

Check what you’ve written and rewrite parts if you need to, before clicking on send. In fact, it’s not only emails. Any written interaction, whether it’s commenting on a blog, instant messaging on Skype, or writing on friends’ Facebook walls can benefit from taking your time to make sure you use the right words and right tone to say what you mean.

Ask yourself: How are your words going to be perceived by your recipient?

The person reading your email isn’t going to be able to see you smiling and they won’t be able to hear your lighthearted or ironic tone or sense your attitude. All they’ve got to go on are your written words. Delivered and read in silence. What if they take it the wrong way?

How many people read an email, feel offended or confused, and pick up the phone to the author? “Hi John, I’ve just read your email and I wondered if in line 2 where you say such and such, if you really meant to insult me?” Not many, I’m guessing.

So you may never know that your email sent off in haste has offended, upset or angered someone. But you may find that your friendship or business relationship with them may cool in the future for no apparent reason.

Or you may find that the person comes back at you all guns blazing because they have been offended, upset or angered when you didn’t mean to have that effect on them at all. Trying to untangle that and reconcile in those circumstances can be exhausting for all concerned.

And what about spelling and punctuation in emails? Some people think that because email is an informal communication medium it’s okay to conduct business in broken English, without the need for spelling, punctuation. Some people use the same language they use for sms text messaging. On a mobile phone it makes sense to abbreviate but in an email? It can be perceived as laziness or sloppiness, especially in a business context - and that can be damaging to your reputation over the long term.

It’s easier to communicate effectively if you know and understand a little about the person you’re communicating with. You can then tailor your words to their personality – treat a matter seriously if you know it’s important to them, wish them a good holiday if you know they’re going away. Or ask them to do something in such a way they feel it’s their decision to do it.

Here are are a few points you can bear in mind next time you have to draft an email.

# Take your time
# Read your communication from the recipient’s point of view
# Be sure what it is you want to communicate and what response you’d like from the other person
# Be consistent in your approach and style
# If you use capitals people will think you’re shouting at them.

Whatever you do, don’t let your emails reflect badly on you. A little time spent planning what you want to say can save a lot of misunderstanding later.

Photo: thanks to ronsho from flickr.com (CCL)