Archive for February, 2008

Blogging about Facebook etiquette last week got me thinking about what I do on that social network and how much of a role it plays in my online social life - and to be frank, I don’t spend that much time there. You would think that I’d be a great fan, seeing as I’m such a social media aficionado. So why does it not ring my bells, as they say?

After mulling over this for awhile, a number of things struck me:

• For many people, especially those new to social media, Facebook feels like a safe, contained space for them to play in - the nice, white gated community of the internet. For me, I like the great open spaces of prairies beyond that offers a vast range of blogs, images, podcasts and video. 

• In particular, I really enjoy reading great blogs, which can be stimulating, intriguing, engaging, amusing - and I like joining the discussions by adding comments and sharing my thoughts around a thought-provoking topic. The interactions on Facebook are geared for chit-chat rather than longer, in-depth discussions.

• The activities most people engage in on Facebook seem to be fairly trivial - sending Hatching Eggs and the like. Which is fun and a way of saying to someone, “I’m thinking of you” that is different from sending them an email, where you feel obliged to say something more than those few words. I enjoy that from time to time but it’s becoming wearing when you are constantly inundated with variations such silliness - and especially when you have to download the application first in order to receive their greeting AND you know that the person sending you the interaction has just downloaded the application and hit “send to all your friends”. Having fun with your friends has never been so easy - or so automated.

• The Facebook mini-feed keeps you up to date about what your friends have been up to - but it mostly shows you what they’ve been doing on Facebook. It’s all about what Facebook applicaitons they’ve added, what Facebook groups they’ve joined, whose Facebook wall they’ve written on etc and not what they are really doing in their real lives. I prefer dipping in and out of my Twitter stream where my Twitter friends are sending out little messages about what they are doing and about blog posts or real world news stories they’ve been reading - and increasingly, videos of what they are up to. All this can be done from their mobile phones, including live video streaming via Qik.

• Facebook inundates you with ads in the sidebar and also with ad-items that pretend to be part of the min-feed. Its Beacon application which added users shopping activities to the mini-feed as if those users endorsed those products caused an outcry recently. So far, Twitter seems to be ad-free.

• Facebooks seems to be private but it is less private than you think. If you want to be sure about privacy, make sure you check that all your privacy settingsare enabled. This apparent privacy and the naivety of users inexperienced in web-safety has led to the recent hoo-ha over employers finding out about staff’s private indiscretions.  If in doubt, treat Facebook - and any other social network - as a public space.

• Inexperienced users have also left indiscrete messages on each other’s Walls, which can be seen by all the friends of the Wall-owner. It is also very easy to mistakenly send a message to “all ” your friends. When replying to a message sent to “all” from one friend, I don’t think there is an option to reply to that one friend - your reply goes to “all”. This is all potential for tension and drama between friends if someone sees a message they should not have etc….!

So, my final verdict is: Facebook is as good a place as any to start your social media exploration but it’s not as private as you think it is. As with any public space  - or semi-public space like your office, school, college or community space - take a moment to think abuot how what you say and do might be taken. And don’t leave private information lying around, in the same way you wouldn’t leave your wallet, driving licence, passport etc lying around the office or in a lecture room.

If you like to see what your friends are up to in terms of real world interactions rather than just their interactions with Facebook applications, check out Twitter - my Twitter feed  at www.twitter.com/fusionview may be a good place to start, and in particular you can see the mix of people I follow for the news items they share via Twitter and also the more personal daily activities that others I follow tweet about. br />
Photo: of gated community thanks to Dean Terry on flickr.com (CCL)

Someone (let’s call her Rachel*) asked for my advice about Facebook friending etiquette the other day. We are both friends in the real world (an old Uni pal) and we are also friends of Facebook. Rachel, who is an internet newbie who stays mainly on Facebook, had received a “friend” request from a business colleague of her husband’s.

Rachel told me, “I don’t know what to do. I use Facebook for my close friends and family and this lady is nice but she’s - well - a business contact. If I accepted, she’d be the only non- “real friend”. And I use Facebook for, you know, personal stuff that only friends and family would be interested in. But I don’t want to be rude.”

This is a dilemma I’ve come across a number of times.

With people you don’t know at all who just came across your profile on Facebook and try to “friend” you because their aim is to reach, like, wow, 1,000 friends, man - you just ignore them. That’s easy.

With friends who are your real-life friends ie you know them in the real world and they actually are your friends in that sense of the word, that’s easy too - you accept them.

It’s these in-betweeny people who are your acquaintances or business colleagues or someone you met at a party and spoke to for five minutes - what do you do about them? For me, my Facebook profile and all my public online presences are part of who I am in public and relate to my profession as a writer and social media specialist so if the person fits with that public me, then I accept them. For private personal connections, I maintain private spaces eg for family photos and videos.

For Rachel and many others like her, her presence online is not part of a public, business-related presence and she’s just having some fun with friends and family. This is where privacy settings and more “un-friendly” conduct becomes necessary - and is quite legitimate. I suggested that she explain to her husband’s business colleague that she uses Facebook for family and close, personal friends only and if she’s worried about the colleague taking it the wrong way, to make sure she knows that Rachel can be friendly in other ways that work better for the nature of the business relationship.

As we live more and more of our lives online, privacy issues are going to become more and more relevant. At the moment, there are no rules of etiquette for social interactions online and generally, what we’ve been using in the real world works too online. But new etiquette is bound to evolve as new issues and circumstances arise. In a case like this, it’s a matter for Rachel to find a way to best negotiate who she friends and what personal information she shares online - but it’s also a matter for the business colleague to respect the privacy of the person who does not wish to “friend” her online (although Rachel may be comfortable meeting her from time to time in the appropriate business setting).

So, Rachel didn’t accept the friend request. What do you think? Would you have friended this colleague anyway?

*not her real name

Photo: thanks to jennybento from flickr.com

I wrote about the dangers of the omnipresent mobile phone camera last week in my post “Losing Control”. In the same week, a video posted on YouTube.com shows a cop in Baltimore losing it with a teenager, physically manhandling the kid without good cause and abusing him verbally in an intimidating and vicious manner. The kid’s offence? Calling the officer “dude” instead of “Officer” seemed to be the trigger.

Watch the video and be appalled.

Officer Salvatore Rivieri was suspended several days after the video hit YouTube, according to the Baltimore Sun.

In cases such as these, when bullies are caught red-handed and red-faced on camera - particularly those who are in positions of trust and authority - it can only be a good thing. However, as the Baltimore Sun report says, we do not know what took place before or after the recording so caution and proper investigation is always needed in these cases.

My review of Oovoo.com, a Skype-like tool that allows you to video chat with up to six people at a time:

Last week the IABC’s* EuroComm Conference 2008 took place in Barcelona, where I chaired the plenary panel discussion on social media. I was joined by co-panellists Giles Colborne of cxpartners, a web usability expert, and Marc Wright of simply-communicate.com, an internal communications specialist. We had a really good session, which was primarily the result of great comments and challenges from the 80 or so business communicators taking part in the session. I just want to focus here on one issue that emerged from the discussions, which I think reflects the main concern of businesses around social media: control.

When we asked the delegates what was preventing their businesses engaging in the social media, the main reason appeared to be an anxiety about losing control. If you have a blog or social network space, people can come and leave negative comments. If you allow your employees to use social media for internal communications, they could spread seeds of discontent internally. Social media tools also make it easier for staff to leak your internal discussions externally. If you offer spaces for user-generated content, you can lose control of the content and message.

But we also discussed how control is an illusion in the brave new world of social media. There could be people out there already expressing negative views about your business or brand on other social media spaces even if you don’t have a business presence on the blogosphere. Your staff are already able to sign up to Facebook or set up their own blogs at home, even if you block them at work. Leaks occur with email as easily as via any other internet or intranet tool. Someone could be filming you or any of your executives with their mobile phone camera even now, capturing your pratfall or offguard comment to be served up on YouTube for the world to see. Employers are doing internet searches of potential recruits as an add-on to the traditional ways of doing background checks - will they find that photo of you taken by a friend at your cousin’s wedding with someone’s knickers on your head?

For businesses who are worried about controlling the message about their product or services, the least you can do is monitor what the online is saying about you even if you decide never to engage in social media. And if you do engage with a blog or other social media tool, that can actually help enhance your reputation especially if you engage in an authentic way. The community you build around your blog will come to trust, respect and like you and loyalty can count for a great deal in times of crisis.

For individuals, the question is: will we always have to be “on” not just when we engage online but wherever we are because we never know when someone may capture us unawares on digital media? This is a much more challenging issue. It is impossible to be perfectly behaved all the time - that’s just a fact of being human. And perhaps we have to trust that people know that - and that in the long term, people seeing someone’s mistake displayed on YouTube will recognise that it’s just a very human momentary lapse, especially if there are other images of that person online that counter lapse. Perhaps in this early period of the mobile phone video, there’s a lot of press and publicity about this issue because it’s novel but that in the long term, there won’t be such a hoo-ha because there’ll be so many unremarkable human failings available to view online. Or perhaps we will all have to hire public relations consultants to help us with reputation management in the future, whether we are Britney Spears or just an ordinary non-celebrity…

We did not reach any solid conclusions during the discussion, only that this is one debate that is going to contine.

What are your thoughts?

Photo: of car wreck thanks to OpenSkyMedia from flickr.com (CCL)

*International Association of Business Commuicators